Holding Back The Tears ~ Tohoshinki

Holding Back The Tears is a really nice song. I just love the words... It is sung by the Korean group Dong Bang Shin Ki. Well, I prefer to call them by their japanese name, Tohoshinki.

A picture that gets smeared in white

And my fragrance that seems to have faded away, All get concealed by the glaring cloud

My heart that has no words, Slowly starts to move my feelings, Those times that slipped through, Are in my hands

I'm holding back the tears, I walk trying to lessen the weight of my heart, To a place that is neither close nor far, Where a different me stands, I will not cry

I bring my two hands together again, To a place that will hear it, As I live though these unmemorable times

Though it seems stupid, we’re always together, The pain that I want to let go, Dries the tears that flows through my body

I'm living with my tears, I walk trying to lessen the weight of my heart, To a place that is neither close nor far, Where a different me stands, I will not cry

I'm holding back the tears, I run adding to the weight of my faith, To a place that is neither high nor low, Where a different me stands again, With a small smile I can laugh

I am living in the world where I do not anybody to be into. I told everybody I do not want to hear anything about you, talk anything about or even see you. But somehow, I am missing you and I am thinking of you. Telling others to not mention you in front of me was the lessen my burden on thinking about you or missing you but somehow.

It is ridiculous, yes, for those who starts missing someone until to the extend where they can't eat, can't drink, can't sleep. Apparently, that ridiculous acts have fallen onto me. I feel like a stupid shitty girl now that I am down to sickness. Insomnia for 2 weeks. Down to sore throat and high fever. Going through the feverish night was a painful one as I kept on yearning for you to be there with me. I was wishing that you are there to comfort me.

Ishk! I'm getting all mushy and emo here. Due to this case, I've been called the ego one. What can I do? I have never been like this before. I have never yearn or someone like that before. (Other than my mom though while I was in the hospital 11 years ago.) I kept on waking up every 2 - 3 hrs due to the pains on my face and my body. Dragging myself to the toilet and to the kitchen to get myself a drink and all. Just getting up from bed just makes me feel so weak.

But I received good news on calling me out for an interview. 2 interviews to be sure. They knew I was sick from the way I sound when I talked to them. Wish me luck and I love you all.

After all = It is just a phase, isn't it? ...Gotta move on... Right?