My HaPPy eNdiNG

honestly, i am not feeling good. i've been feeling bad. i believe de time is near for the both of us. it could just be anytime. as I've said, whatever happen, happens. I would not say much. Saying that it's impossible. i've pictured de endngs. many times and i'd run down with tears. over and over again. when we talked today, my tears came down again. i couldnt stop it. it just keep falling out non-stop. i can't promise you that I will not breakdown but I promise you, you will be my friend forever. To this day, I am very happy. To this day, I am gLad that I've met you. To this, I will never forget. I'll cherish it. Every single secs, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years.

:) Happy 1 year Anniversary, dear....

before it's MN....

did I say that my pLasMa is back in business? yup! is it! it's back! i don't know why but it can be watch now and Im so happy!

Anyway, went over Sallyn's. Udah was there too to get some stuff. Helped sallyn with the cooking, well, hehe, not realli helped. Talked, talked, talked, ate, ate, ate, talked, talked, lazed, talked, ate, talked... haha!!! Nana came too. Shidah couldnt make it, Rozaimah was late, apprently me and Nana couldnt wait any longer cuz it was getting too late and she was still stuck in traffic jam at JB.
Went off for the 2nd consecutive time of the screening of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. It's just too exciting and there were exciting movie-goers too! the non-stop asking girlfren and the boyfren was willing to tell her wt was happening and what was gonna happen. The little kids/babies wh simply jz cried at some points. The guy who kept gg to the toilet cz he was just too weak to control his bladder, another who kept on looking at his watch by pressing the little light on on his watch to see the time and also, those who simpLy jz do not know how to follow de simple rules of tuning off their handphones. Incoming calls and incoming messages were simply known to everybody in the theatre. hank goodness, it was me and nana's 2nd time watching it, so, we were cool.

The little gathering may be short of people but it was realli nice. The food were nice. The chats were nice. It was like an old feeling of hanging around. I mean, the last time we did was like when we were in secondary schl & now we are like young adults. In a relationship, married, with kids and stuffs.
Rozaimah called while I was on the way home. Nice to hear from her though.

Im feeling kinda hungry right now but im restricting.

I want to sleep//

buT wiLL I?

aNyway, de Peppermint Mocha at Starbucks is so NICE! got de hot one since i ddnt ask whip cream, maybe I should ask for it de next time.

Gokusen

ara~ ara~ ara~ i cant stop crying at Gokusen! de drama is funny yet a tear-jerker. don't mind me for being emotional but dt is how i am.... hehe

realli dont knw wt to do

havent had 2 days mc for a veri long time. and im becoming too lazy alreadi. woke at 6am, did my usual exercises, went back sleep after that, woke up at 10am all thanks to de dumping of the contruction stuffs, went online, showered, went online again and spent de whole afternoon watching Gokusen. Then watched tv, fold de clothings, took a nap, and back to watching Gokusen. Now it's 11pm, i want to go into my room, touch my nail polish and then try to sleep.

aiyah. tomorrow working and seriously im gonna kill im tomorrow!

Hung uP!

hey baby, watcha doing? hehe

mom seems to be up earli today.

on MC 2dae, and yesterdae too. Went to work as normal when I felt something terrible. Went off for a quick visit to the clinic and came back wif a 2 days MC. Went off back home, dropped my bag, took the neccessay stuffs and off to the salon to rebond my hair. Yes! I finally did it.

The sun is shining is brightly today. I hope it'll be nice.

I came back home after the visit to salon, watched tv. Whose Line Is It Anyway was on and it was realli funny when the screen blackout. The sound was still there but the screen but come and gone and later it just goonnneee. Then wait for a little longer, it came back and then it was gggoooonnnneeee. I wanted to cry. Wehn dad called back I told him about it and since that, I was watching in de living room.

TSKTSKSTK

i am so sad.

Dad says see how it goes. If really cant be done, he'll present me with a 29".

TSKTSKTSK

But oh well! I still have the sound system.

Guess Im gonna go shower now.

Good Morning ppL!

"mai kan-cheong le!"

i have jz got home. from? well... nowhere. Why? You see, I have my last exam paper today. Science (Phy/Chem). I do not want to be late and so, I woke up early. I woke up earli morning at 7am. Took a quick shower, grabbed my skirt and t-shirt and wore my shoes and dashed off in a cab. I told the cabby, "Good morning, Northbrook Sec Sch, pls". Uncle looked at me and I said, "Ave 11 there." Uncle got delighted and drove off. I took out my timetable to check the school address and then, my eyes caught on the timing of today's paper. it was written '1400 hrs'.

BEST!

i imagine my whole face turns red and slowly my whole body starts freezing. I whined out to uncle that I got the timing of my paper wrong. Uncle start to laughed. He LAUGHED le. Well, in a situation like that, who don't find it funny. Smsed tj and expected, he said, "you very blur le". haha!! realli le. Then I told uncle to drop me at Northpoint but later changed of mind again, I decided to come back home. But as we drove pass McDonald's I was like, damn! But hell care. I came back home now. Drinking a hot cup of milo, blogging, listening to Madonna while the others are still asleep. I might go back to sleep anytime though. Or maybe not. hehe!!

& here I thought I could escape from the construction noisssseeesssss!

me watching The OC and suddenly dad wants to test his Daewoo surrond system and oh boy! Gotta stop halfway!

And are we still going out?

my day ur day

hmm... i was on a bus yesterdae. it went pass Jalan Kubor and than Jalan Pisang and than Jalan Kledek. Eh? isit Jalan Kledek 1st or Jalan Pisang. Either one la but I know Jalan Kubor went pass 1st. Scary thing is, de lane of Jalan Kubor looks as eerie as it's road name. Yes it is.

While I was on de way back from the supermarket, I received a call. Someone had just went through my friendster and asked if I'm still looking for a job and apparently yes. And so, that evening, although I was lazy, I still went for it. Took the bus to Golden Mile and it took me like 1.5hours? I reached the place like almost to 8pm. Like, URGH! That was the 1st time I've been to an interview at night. The interviewer actualli asked me if I'm not worried if it's a fake inerview or something, well, I told him if it is, then I would just have to kick his ass out. Muahaha!! Sounds like a tough gal I am. *winks*
Finished the interview, de interviewer showed me the bus-stop which I could take to Bugis. I fund a right bus though that realli brings me to Bugis. Yeah! but instead, i dropped at City Hall and took 857 at Capitol Building. Yey!
In the bus, I was tired and some bloody guy came up to me asking if I have a friendster account. Well, since it's just friendster, I gave him my username. Onli. I was not into the mood of talking at tha moment, plus, that guy is not my type. I can tell that he is younger than me and still playing around with his friends. Sorry sir but I love tj more than ever.
Isit right to say it out like that? OMG

TJ just called me asking if i'm free todae though. I've told him im gg for hari raya visit but, i'll be free after that la. Told him to give me a call later as I only could meet him up later. yay!

yeah! yey! yay! -> which one?

Madonna new songs rocks! im digging. yeay! muaahah!!! //cRaP ar Kak Rin <- someone always say that to me.

F4

haha!! i'm watching F4. I can't believe it! well, it's so exciting. I mean, the Japan drama vers is much more exciting than the Taiwan one. Well, de Taiwan one followed draggily from the manga, or de anime.
Anyway, whatever it is, it was fun. The girl is much more prettier than barbie hsu who played tsukushi. And Matsumoto Jun, he played Domyouji well. He did great, just exactly how de character would be, but hor! his face ar! doesnt fit de role ar! he best stick to Young Kindaichi. Why didnt they get Takizawa Hideaki, i thk he fit it either or Yamashita Tomohisa? eh! wait! Yamashita Tomohisa will fit Hanazawa's character but then, Oguri Shun, rather than seeing him playing all those stupid characters in other drama, I like this one best! I mean, he's realli looking suave. Okay, I like him in Snow... err, what's dt drama? He played a deaf boy. I have tha vcd though. I remember that show was realli damn sad!
As for the 2 extra fren, a chinese-japanese guy & an english educated guy, looking kiddos and sleek, well, they're okay for extras ar. Heh! there's gotta be a better Johnny's Jr. kid out there.
But this one, realli exciting ar. Watched up to 3rd episode now.
I'll be waiting for the rest.
I don't think they would not do this one to a whole lot many many episodes and cut them short la.

MTV Hits now realli are playing cool old school music video. My sista had jz called me up to my room, yelling for me and when I got it, N Sync's err, what's dt song? I forgot siak! it's their 1st xmas song ar. Dn knw ar wt.

I hope i get that job. I hope for de best for me in the future.

=sorry=

looks like there are lots to be done before you can go. 2 weeks coming up fast. stay still for awhile. aite! muackz

LOVE baby!

yes, i do like commercial songs. i love ashlee simpson's L.O.V.E. ....call me cheesy, lame, whatever.... i love this song....

I'm talkin' bout love
All my girls stand in a circle and clap your hands this is for you
Ups and downs highs and lows no matter what you see me through
My boyfriend he don't answer on the telephone
I don't even know where the hell he goes
But all my girls we're in a circle and nobody's gonna break through

L,O,L,O,L,O,L.O.V.E
L,O,L,O,L,O
Oh did you hear me say?
L,O,L,O,L,O,L.O.V.E
L,O,L,O,L,O
Did you hear me say
L,O,L,O,L,O,L.O.V.E
L,O,L,O,L,O
Im talkin' bout
L,O,L,O,L,O,L.O.V.E
L,O,L,O,L,O

I'm talkin' bout love, say you'll be my girls for life
Girls for like
Oh hold off I need another one
I think you, you do too
Grab my bag, got my own money
Don't need any man in this room
My boyfriend he'll be calling me now anytime
I need all girls to keep him off my mind
So hold up we need another one
What we got is all good

L,O,L,O,L,O,L.O.V.E
L,O,L,O,L,O
Did you hear me say?
L,O,L,O,L,O,L.O.V.E
L,O,L,O,LO
Oh did you hear me say?
L,O,L,O,L,O,L.O.V.E
L,O,L,O,L,O
I'm talking bout
L,O,L,O,L,O,L.O.V.E
L,O,L,O,L,O

I'm talkin' bout love
I'm talkin' bout love
Love is an energy, love is a mystery
Love is meant to be true
Love is a part of me, love is the heart of me
Love is the best thing we do

L,O,L,O,L,O,L.O.V.E
L,O,L,O,L,O
Oh did you hear me say?
L,O,L,O,L,O,L.O.V.E
L,O,L,O,L,O
Did you hear me say?
L,O,L,O,L,O,L.O.V.E
L,O,L,O,L,O
I'm talkin' bout
L,O,L,O,L,O,L.O.V.E
L,O,L,O,L,O
I'm talkin' bout
L,O,L,O,L,O,L.O.V.E
L,O,L,O,L,O
Oh did you hear me say?
L,O,L,O,L,O,L.O.V.E
L,O,L,O,L,O
I'm talkin' bout
L,O,L,O,L,O,L.O.V.E
L,O,L,O,L,O
I'm talkin' bout
L,O,L,O,L,O,L.O.V.E
L,O,L,O,L,O
I'm talkin' bout
L,O,L,O,L,O,L.O.V.E
L,O,L,O,L,O

life?

seriousli, why you can do this, i cannot do this? why why you can do that, i cannot do that? why you can call me and i cant call you? why when i call you, you don't answer? why when you call me, i have to answer? why when i sms you, you don't answer? why when you sms me, i have to reply?

i found a nice book but damn! i forgot that i've left my IC in my pencil case. I couldnt borrow the book. It was saddening. Gotta go back there again tomorrow and hope the book still there.

work was sian. i was concentrated on doing my work. but i was cold. no change at all. bloody fucking operation director came in making a whole lot of noises again! blaming de logistic on not having the ball rolling when actualli it's all the damn fault of the stupid programming manager! fucking shit to all you people.

you promised.... i hope u do

seriousli dn knw wt to put for title

got hold of tj's exilim on friday night. couldnt meet outside so i had to go back down work to meet him up. walked around to meet up my store guys. hasni was yelling at me from the carpark, "jalan raya, dalam banyak2 rumah, akder rumah lain kah nak pergi?".... hahaha!!! well, wt to do. i had to to get the digicam. tj showed me every single thing i need to do, need to keep, need to take care and oh boy! the weather was hot.

saturday was de day. the once-a-year family hari raya visitings. the one which we do every year, rent a bus and than start visiting houses of our grandaunts and granduncles and the final house will be either one of the hosts. like this year, it's Bik Sal's house. Wonder next yr whose?
It was a fun trip, although there were some missing people who couldnt make it, but it was still fun but it was really tiring and, i mean, a realli tiring one and also, the weather, oh boy! we were hoping that it'll get dark and realli windy and maybe rain a little, but it didnt. it was hot and sunny all the way. thank you to mr. cool fan, it was a big help....
there were unneccesary tensions and screaming going on at some points which was realli ridiculous. well, you know i know and unneccesary lame lousy jokes were given out. well, you know i know.

laugh people! idiots! *slaps forehead*

it was realli tiring that we were realli wanting for a long cold shower. i was even dragging myself on de way back that i headed to the shower without even cooling myself first or what. just being under that cold shower realli a damn nice feeling. and when I start putting shampoo on my hair and start scrubbing my head and stuff, and oh boy! it was realli nice.
And Saturday night movie was great. Frequency. I was realli tired and all but I stayed up to watch it. Next week, another nice movie, I Am Sam. Gotta watch that one.

Sunday was a lazy day. I woke up earli as I need to head to the toilet. Got up earli, went on to the pc to resize de pixs and upload them (click here to see them) and than, went off to watch CSI on AXN and than went on to continue watching tv and than helped mom a little and than went on pc and than helped mom and than watched tv, message my frenz to come over but i know they won't come, tj called and than yammie's frenz came over and i watched tv again and than a little nap ....oh boy! it's starting to rain! gg to work in a little while though.... anyway, had a little nap, woke up by cik su's smses, run off to yammie's room to watch tv, The Truth of Cats & Dogs were coming on. Bik As came over and later, nyai's Anak Saudara came. Haha!! It was funny. You know I know. Than finally, Yammie's, erm, close frenz came over. I mean, the 3 people la. Haha!! They're cute.
Watched Mujhse Dosti Karoge on Central. The last time I watched that movie was on Zee TV and there was no subtitles and can you imagine, how draggy it was. I could barely understand what they were saying. But when I watched yesterdae, it was exciting and I have never felt so excited from watching a hindi movie for damn long time. Okay, so I still love those kinds of hindi love stories but they gotta have their plot in different ways. I mean, the storyline still the same but they got to change the tensions and feelings and scenes or whatever in a different way. Yesterdae night, it was realli exciting.
Also, I felt a little embarrased. I was sitting in the living room, on the red chair, with my legs up on the cushion and one leg, folded up on my other knee and Wan just came out slowly walking... towards me, I thought he wanted to go toilet or something but he passed me my handphone. Bloody hell, I felt so embarassed and out of manner. I mean, the way I sit. Plus, I was wearing shorts. Sigh. Okay, I am feeling a little bit out of place for awhile but after that I thought, what the hell! Muaahahaha!!!! Im bad. Then I remembered that he's older. Show some respect, k Siti!

Gonna be 1100hrs, gotta get to work. I was too tired and there was this stupid headache I got. I smsed my senior storekeeper and went off back to sleep. Informing my storekeeper and tj too. tj gg for interview todae. Wish him good luck. Wonder if i'd get to see him later.

....... i'm thinking of getting MC though.

bLueK//

break off

in the end, star wars is just another love story that creates all the troubles for all troubles. Anyway, just finished watching Revenge Of The Sith and that was what I thought.

No exams today. Thank god. After going through the trauma of having sitted for History paper all alone in the school hall, was realli such an experience. Went for English in the morning. Came back for a shower and han buzz off back to school for Physics and than stayed behind for History which I was suppose to sit for with 3 other candidates. But apparently, they didnt showed up which means, after the private and school candidates left, I was the only one left in that school hall for another 2 and half hours, writing out and answering every damn questions. Well, not all exactly.

Went off to visit wak ri and wak kam after that at night. it was great. a family out, just de 4 of us. and the cats. oh yes, the cats. bujang la oh bujang. An egoistic he is.

wanted to sleep late but couldnt. in de end, went to sleep at 2am. haha!! cannot tahan ar!

dad did unexpected. I didnt knw what is it until he called me to yammie's room quietly. When I saw it, I thought, it was realli unexpected. Delivered the news to yammie later. I hope she's feeling okay.

get over it

found a nice song by avril lavigne, Get Over It. it is nice. unfortunately, i like the song.

so what if it's avril lavigne? i like ashlee simpson's Boyfriend too.

had de 1st Science paper 2dae. Surprisingly, i didn't know that it is only 1hr 15mins. haha... i was earli and this time, i took the bus.

after de paper, went off to meet up maryann, that chicky girl she is. talked and planned and stuffs. walked around, got meself a deodarant. badly need one. the problem comes again. applied a part-time job at an ice-cream parlour. oh boy. nicey.

went back in the bus, fell asleep, missed the stop. had to go down to the interchange and took de feeder bus back. sigh, money wasted. realli ar!

dad called, he thought i was out when actualli, he was in the living room and i was in my room, just woke up from sleep and as expected, 6pm, tj called. he was on de way home. i was feeling bored from his words for the past few days so i was expecting de same todae and apparently, he only gave out half of it. i feel so bad after that but i was realli sick of it.

but then again, am i being paranoid?

"Maybe"

2dae is gonna go by veri fast and im gonna just put on that big smile on my face. gotta get more glue to paste that big smile on me. it was paper 1 of maths just now. oh boy! i think im getting good at angles now and seems like im getting bad at algebra. upside down siak! used to be the opposite you know.

look at my english, it's so bad. it's not even properly used. i mean, written. aiyoh! siti sarinah! buck up please! u're having English paper on Wednesday le! yar! aLong with History and Science. Why ar? Science 3 different days?

okay, somehow im getting sick of it. sick, sick, sick, sick. said nothing but de same thing which kinda realli pisses me off. if it's a parent of mine, i would have taken some pills and not wake up anymore, or best, forever.

okay, and so tj said get into Engineering. He said, or get into BA, Business Administration or Logistics. Apparently, they may be good for my future, well, I... err, consider ;)

came back home like 11am and got a call from poor sebastian. all alone. haha!!! Jennife on MC, Johnny on MC and even big Dato' Desmond also MC. Like damn. There was nobody doing data entries and not much manpower around since there're still crates from KNT coming in. Well, I had no choice but to cancel my full day leave today to a half day leave. Did my studies there too but not much as there were so much things to do, like so suddenly.

"heaven"

oKay. Back when I was in secondary school, I wanted to get into Mass-Communication. Okay, looking at the market now, Engineering might be the best course to get in to.

Which one should I go into? The one that I've been dreaming to get in to or the want which has the easiest job opportunity?

Should this blog even be titles Heaven? or Burning Up?

Does it even make sense?

I don't think so. L-A-M-E. I knwo.

Look! I don't even know hot to spell "know"/.

And I have Elementary Mathematics Paper 1 in 8 hours time.

does it feel like it's a Sunday?

went off to work yesterdae for half day. cleared off my leftover filings before i start my leaves. did like 80% of my exam preprations. haha!! came back home feeling rather tired yesterdae. wanted to take a nap but mom and grandma are having them. So, I had to stay up in case if there any guests coming.
Watched tv, read a book, listening to me mp3, watched Maid In Mahattan, ate breakfast-cum-lunch, feeling frustrated over him and than guest came. Served drinks and bla bla, watched a lil bit of Basilisk and finalli, it was 6pm, i took a nap. I just couldnt help it. I just gotta sleep. I slept and slept and slept. Grandma tried to wake me up like twice. She wanted me to get up and eat dinner and shower but I just ignored and continued sleeping.
Slept, slept, slept and slept. Woke up at 6.32am and it was raining. I went back to sleep. Slept, slept, slept and it's 9am. I slept, slept, slept and it's 11am. Finally, I got up. Grandma was happy that I finally woke up.
Took a long shower. Heat up the foods and took my breakfast. A heavy one. Rice with sambal goreng, rendang daging and lauk lemak. WOAH!
Watched Blood ep 3, no subs, sickening. browsed thru and than watched ep 4, veri nice, ends fast. And now, updating my blog. Gotta change the layout. It's killing my eyes....

Listening to Harry Potter's theme song. haha!! Yammie downloaded them.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

seriously, it's de most tiring and happening hari raya of the year. and not surprisingly, on de 1st day, all of us are wearing old baju kurungs. haha!! of course, no need waste money, de old ones still new thins. err, aper aku berbual.
mom even found a vegetable she bought yesterdae to fry noodles. mom kept lying down and up and so on. me and yammie were serving, with de help of our cousins. hehe!!
especially de time when our house was full-house. totalli fulled til there was no single place to sit in de living room. we were just looking at our guests coming in non-stop.
but, hey, hari raya sey. watcha expect.
we even have kueh-chang on hari raya. for the 1st time. err, i think not. err, i don't know.

took a shower just now. can't stand de heat. realli hot man. my hair, i mean, my head.... feels so good when i stood under the shower.

anyway, found something from tyra banks show. for those girls who had to go through a break-up.... http://tyrashow.warnerbros.com

Eight Stages of Healing After a Breakup

What should you expect after the big break? Marni Kamins and Janice MacLeod, authors of “The Breakup Repair Kit,” say if you're grieving over your loss, get ready for the Eight Stages of Healing. These stages are normal parts of the healing process so the healthiest thing for you to do is let them run their course rather than using your energy to try to fight them off. Or, if you want, you can ignore all your feelings, push them away, keep dating the same type of loser over and over - your choice!

These are stages not steps and you may not experience each stage in order.

1. Stage 1 – SHOCK: “What the…? Are we really not together anymore? Am I sure? Maybe it was all a dream. Maybe he’s really left for a season and I will go into the bathroom and see him showering.” Your mind is deciding to deny your pain because it is too painful to process the truth. Chill and avoid drastic behavior like massive shopping sprees, tattoos and nasty haircuts.

2. Stage 2 – DENIAL: “I seriously think we were meant to be together. Deep down I know we’re just on a break.” Sure. Keep telling yourself this. Torture yourself because it feels good, like playing with a loose tooth or overusing tweezers. Just don't call him and pretend you never broke up.

3. Stage 3 – NUMBNESS: “I am so surprised at how easy he was to get over. I’m not even crying. In fact, nothing in my life seems to matter anymore. I’m not hungry or passionate about anything. Go figure.” Your mind is protecting you from overwhelming thoughts. Napping is good during this stage.

4. Stage 4 - FEAR: “What if I never date again? Will I end my days alone in a dusty old house knitting booties for the children I never had?” Talk about your fears with a friend who can snap you out of your extreme thoughts.

5. Stage 5 - ANGER: “Wait a minute. We never did any of those things we said we were going to do. It was all talk. What a schmuck. It was all his fault. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to love such a low-life hairy ball of earwax.” Let out anger in healthy ways with juicy revenge fantasies.

6. Stage 6 - DEPRESSION: “I have no one to go to brunch with anymore. And if I did, I’d rather stay in my bed and eat Chunky Monkey.” If the despair is unbearable or leads to suicidal thoughts, don’t wait to get professional help. Get it now.

7. Stage 7 - UNDERSTANDING: “I learned so much from him and I’m really glad I’m not dating him anymore. I guess we weren’t meant to be together.” Ahh, we are seeing the light.

8. Stage 8 – ACCEPTANCE: “He was not perfect but neither was I. We were meant to be together for the time we were together.” Now bring on the other fish in the sea. I’m fabulous!” You go girlfriend.