Fadez

I am losing it again. I believe I am but it is not as bad as before. This time, I am just happily wondering if it never happened yesterday. What if I had not gone for it? What if I had gone for it but I was alone? I kept wondering. I didn't know that it would happened. I am not looking back in time anymore. Am I? I am little distracted for the moment and at this moment I am still distracted. I have to escape for awhile and let myself cool down and drain out all the thinkings inside my head.

I escaped from work today just so that I could let all the distractions out before I head to work. I don't know what I would do. I just want to get out and be on my own. Only for awhile. Maybe. If only I have my own space. If only I have I have my own house where I could just roll around anywhere in the house and jump around and make a mess of it where no one would nag or scream or yell or say.

Argh! I'm beat!

~Biarlah Rahsia - Siti Nurhaliza

So, I went. I decided to go and I've brought my dear cousin, Sufyan along to company me. An event of unexpected happened and it has put me in an awkward spot. I was lost of words for most. I even lost my appetite a little bit. Nothing I planned happened and oh boy! Phew! It was like going through a mock test. No! A mock examination.
He is doing well. He is looking well. I have think and thought about him thick and thin and I was sure that he is fine. He is looking fine. He is doing fine. He is well and fine. It was unexpected but I am glad.

Went down to St 13. Finally met Riff. Haha!!! Talked with Raihan before she went off. Had nice chat with Rahmah aunty and we just lepak and ate up the potato chips. Wahidah was awkward when I wanted to do the dishes which she kept on telling me not to.

Sigh... I'm at the 2nd last disc of Princess Hours. Watched the 2nd last disc halfway and will continue on another day. Next will be episode 20 onwards until the end. Yeah!

I feel like eating but I don't feel like it. My appetite has since been gone.

It is Driving Me Crazy

Seriously it is driving me crazy. When was the last time I was this crazy!? Well, there was the Samurai Dvd collections. There was Winter Sonata. That was all like 4 - 5 years ago. I thought I'm not like that anymore but it seems like a person never change. I wasnt really bothered with Princess Hours until I saw it bits and pieces o it and it got me hook on it. Mom came back with the ordered dvd set box and it got me stuck in front of the tv from 2pm in the afternoon til almost 4am in the morning. 24 episodes altogether and 8 discs altogether. I'm almost done. 3 discs to go. It even got Yammie stuck on it too. I just luv the story. I just luv pretty boys. Well, yes I do luv pretty boys.

I... should be sleeping right now although I don't feel like it.

Goong = Palace

Is everyone as crazy as me? Well, I wasn't at 1st. It looks kinda interesting. I read about it even before it was being shown and I knew briefly how it ended. I was busy with work that I didn't make time much for tv.

Somehow it makes me got stuck on it, thanks to my dear cousins and mom. I got hook on it again after many many years. I've always thought they are always slow unlike japanese ones. The last interesting one I've watched was 4 yrs ago? i think. That one the title was Winter Sonata.

Hahaha!!! Think I talked about what siak! Korean dramas la... Now i'M all stuck with Princess Hours. Aiyomah! What la... The show is interesting la. There's going to be another one of Princess Hours but all different cast. Don't know will be go0d or not. I wonder if the comic's better.

Mixed FeeLiNgz

the festive days are always a tiring day for all of us. especially the eves and the 1st days. my 1st day of hari raya is always at home the whole day while all the guests would come cz my house is the headquarter. my grandmother is always here on the 1st day. it was a great gathering for all of us families as we all get to see each other. No matter you hate them or you love them, they are all there. Whether you are waiting for them to speak to you or whether they don't want to speak to you anymore, they are all there. Although you are waiting for that one person to call you and greet you Hari Raya and they never did, they are all there, in our heart, in our mind, in our dream, in our imagination.

The 1st day of hari raya is always waking up earli morning for us all. Putting on our recycled baju kurungs and waiting for the guests to come. Me and yammie were waiting for the rest to come while we just laid back in our seats and watch tv. Channel surfing most of the time until we gave up and decided to do our things. I went off to watch the 4th episode of House Of Carters while Yammie decided to take a little nap when 30 minz later the 1st guests came. So on and on til the rest of the guests came. We got really busy that we were used to it as every year the same cycle just went on over and over again since we were kids and until we don't know when.

There were lots of laughters and no tears. Yes, this year there are not much tears as there lots of hidden hatreds are inside us. Especially me. I guess. I don't have the spirit much but I was happy and glad to get to mingle around with my families whom I love. I guess I'm seeing all this as just a normal gatherings instead of a Hari Raya gathering. Am I bad to think that way?

The weather was so hot and so humid that I almost felt like fainting. At 7+, dad told us about the timing to go out to his big bro and big sis hse. He came back from morning shift at 5pm. I had cold shower but was still feeling hot after that. When we were going out, a whole big group of family arrived.

After the visitings to the 2 houses, we arrived home at 11.30pm. I told mom that most probably I'll skip work as I'm too tired. As for dad, he's in the evening shift so it's okay for him and for yammie, she had to work. Me? Hah! I feel like i don't ive a damn anymore. I don't know. I'm just too tired.

Today, I woke up and I was really really tired. I smsed my executive about my absence and mom didnt yell at me as she knows I'm gonna skip anyway. Hahaha!!! Am drinking coffee now. Feeling better after being lethargic for the past few hours. Uploaded our 1st day raya pictures and woohoo! I feel so not in the mood this year. I wish it'll end fast and move on to another year so that I cant start all over again.

Although the past will still be hook on us, we just have to look forward and serve the best to our purpose and to the people we love.

Wanted to book tickets to Puteri Gunung Ledang Musical but to book through online gotta have credit cards. So, will inform dad tonight as we are going to Puteri Gunung Ledang Musical!!! Yeah!!!!!

Selamat Hari Raya AidilFitri

Harap maaf atas segala kata-kata yang telah saya terluahkan dan apa-apa yang telah saya ter-lakukan teratas sesiapa. Harap semua bergembira di-sampingi saudara-mara dan kawan-kawan yang di-sayangi. Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Dan Batin...

ShpEaK!!ii!!

Everybody are already in a holidays mood. Hari Raya and Deepavali. Many has already gone on leave while others starts on Monday. Their leaves la. Lots of hand-shaking sessions wth each other, Wishing of each others of their festives. Sending and receiving cards on both emails and snail-mails. Internal and external. I received a Hari Raya card after so many years which got my Executive a little jealous. Haha!! Well, she was just kidding. My days are counted. Counting. Moving. Getting near. I wonder how it is going to be.

Covered the front desk. So many calls. So many guests. So many clients. So many suppliers. So many workers. So many questions and yet no answers.

Honestly (I don't really like Hari Raya). I like the fact that families and frenz gathered and get in touch once again and see those faces whom you hate but each other or shall I say everyone would just show their faces which are actually masks over their real faces. Seeking forgiveness to those people who are not even worth of forgiving but have to just because they are elders or seniors. Tears falling out unneccessary. Laughters only just for the sake to make yourself smile throughout the day.

Enough Said. I am angry at myself right now. I have always been. I don't know why. I hae done something wrong but I dont know what. I want to correct it but I don't know if I'm aware of it how. Do I even know if I am okay?

Life Goes On

This shot is very funny. I didn't even remember it was being taken. Hahaha!!!!

I am looking stupid.

Hhahaha!!! I remember it was on the 1st of juLy. It was like Doomsday for us all. Hahahahaha!!!

Really Ar!! Funny....

crash my world

everything just feels so wrong. i dont know but i feel it is wrong. i shouldnt even be thinking of you. i am taking every step to try to forget you but i just cant. it is taking so long and how long will it be? i stopped hoping and so i should stop thinking too. i want to let everything out of my head, not my mouth. i want everything to be just fine. i guess i just have to go on with that memory lingering in my head, in my heart, in my mind, in my life.

Green For LiFe

It was really tiring. Haha~ But it was all fun fine phew~! ....

Raihan woke me up though in the morning. You know! Somehow my sister now has become kinda-like emotionally-fed-up-or-happy, you know la, those kind of mood when you're watching soccer. That is how she is. English Cup is on and she's on Chelsea, I think and she's fed-up that if Chelsea don't win. I don't remember when but she's getting all emotionally excited.

Okay, so the geyLaNG trip was all good. From Joo Chiat Complex to the bazaar to Tanjong Katong Complex and back to the bazaar. No break for us from 4pm to 6.50pm. It was just walking and browsing all the way. We were hot and sweating and tired but we just went on. Until it was time for break fast, we couldnt find a place to sit at all. Well, of course we knew that was happening. With all the crowds, the pushing and all, we got through. Told the girls to go to Singapore Post Centre for break fast but instead we foun a better place to sit. A small stall at the bazaar. It was kinda cool. We bough other foods too from the bazaar and foods from the bazaar itself that we were really famished. Shasha came later and joined us to have a full break fast. I got my baju kurung at the bazaar minutes before we went for our break fast. It was $280 but it was discounted to $240. I bargained and it was down to $215. It's not at the bazaar or any open shop but it was in a boutique at Tanjong Katong Complex itseLf. The sales lady was nice... haha~! bUt oh well, I think it was a good buy. Wahidah got hers too after that at an open stall in Tanjong Katong too. Shid's was the hardest and most difficult one. She just can't ind her right one. Well, it was a realli hard and tough one though. Pleasing her was hard too. Have to worried about her mum some more. Went into First Lady. Really not my taste but Raihan found one which she liked. Look for Nad's too but there wasnt really nice one. Raihan decided to get a kebaya after thinking through. During that time, we were waiting for the new piece of the baju kurung she chose. But by the time the new piece came, we were already on the way out. Hehe... Sorry First Lady ladies....

Off to our break fast and back into the bazaar after that. Got Nad's baju kurung. Lots of bargaining though. It wen kinda easy for me to bargain too. I wonder why. Taught Raihan to bargain too. Haha~! Shid got hers there in the bazaar too. It was a nice one. Went into the bazaar again. The crowds were really pissing me off but it doesnt stop us from camwhoring. Yeah! Me and Raihan got more ear-rings. Went back to the same stall we went earlier. It was like a roundabout for us to find the stall. I bought a big necklace too and wore it on the spot. It's
really nice la.

Went off to Woodlands Ring to watch Ganyut. Raihan has been estatically telling us about it and we kept on seeing the clips everywhere in the bazaar. But before that, we were all running to the toilet pppp~~~~~EEEEE..... hahahahahaha~~~~!!!!!! Me and Wahidah tried on our baju kurung and camwhored some more like as if it was already hari raya. Aiyoh.... Off to Ganyut and oh boy! It's a funny show. Thank go I don't fathers like those fathers in Ganyut. Klakar siak cerita. Merepek beSaR...!!!!

It was just taxis for us all day. Wow!

Pictures uploaded... here

//SaRiNAh Luvs You MoRE tHaN YOU LUV SaRiNAh

tonight~2n9t

met ken-KeN after work to return his report. Went to Shop & Save, bought Pillsbury Buttermilk Pancake mix. Bought peppermint milk tea with pearls. Love it. Instead of Air Kathira, Bubble tea buat buka. hehehe....

Came back home. On MSN. Chatted With yammie oN mSN. she over at shid's. heated up nasi goreng and 8pm on the dot... HOUSE OF CARTERS on E! .... yay! have been waiting for that show. Great show man! Love Nick, Love Aaron, Love Leslie, Love BJ, Love Angel. Love the show. Whether they're acting or not but it is much better than watching Newly Weds. Instead of seeing a blonde who is a biMbO, im watching bLondeS wif bRainS. Well, not exactly. But, seeing sibLiNgs under one roof. Screaming and arguing and hitting and making up to each other every minute and stuffs. All are just nice dramas.... Watched the premiere episode on E! and continued watching the 2nd episode on YouTube. Blessed the internet. You can really just get anything anytime.

Had pancakes after that. It's crazy. I made pancakes at 11pm after watching a bit of Hikmah on Suria. Ate pancakes with whip cream and brownies. Drinking coffee now. Oh boy!

Dad working what shift ar today?

SariNaH LUVs YOU more thAn YOU LOVE SaRiNAh

WunderKiNd

how should i put it? hmmm..... It is the most interesting gathering I've ever had. Although it is just a mini gathering, it was all so worthwhile and we were loving every minute of it. The atmosphere, the laughters, the teases and jokes, the little boy. Me and Edah went over to Sallyn's for a break fast gathering. We brought our own ingredients and some utensils of our own and start our bakings. I did the Frosted Brownie while Edah did the Chicken Tortillas. She prepared some Kebabs which I fried them later on and Sallyn fried some noodle.

Our gathering were made more fun with the presence of baby Af. well, not baby anymore, bt toddler Af. Little af realli lifted up our spirits more. He was a dearie today. All so lovable. He did some dangerous stunts with the advantage of me and Edah. We gave up later on which he came on to us and wanted to pull us over for him to that dangerous stunt again.

After the break fast, we played as Af as before. Laid down for tv. A Cinderella Story, The Island, more 100 Plus & Green Tea & coffee & miLo. there were some left over chickens and cheese. So, Edah reheated the cheese while I wrapped the chickens with the tortillas. Baked it again before heading home.

It is a very hot day. The PSI for the haze has gone up to 143. I took a cab back and the road was reali foggy. I was really scared and I suddenly visualised that soon our world will changed to dark surroundings like those futuristic cyber world. Just dark and heat and cold and fogs all around. Had a long cold shower once I back home.

Home sweet home.... SaRiNAh LUVS you MoRe tHaN YOU Luv SaRiNAh

Yummy

I am all geared. Eggs, Brownies mix, tupperware, baking tray, butter, etc. I am going over to Sallyn's house. I am baking BROWNIES today. Yeah! After more than 5 years of not making those brownies, Im baking them today. Hehehehe....

Watched Fanaa again last night befoe returning to Medah today. I love that movie. I'm realli attracted to it. The songs are really nice la and the ending is just sad.

TraNce

I was very happy today at work. Everybody was going crazy. In fact yes, everybody was stupiditily crazy. Very funny. Someone who is suppose to talk but just laughs all the time. Someone looked at someone and keeps on smiling for no reason. Someone who didnt realise that she was saying she is a guy. Someone who didnt even see something that has already been done since Monday and onli realise it after coming back from desptch in th late afternoon. Like what the hell is the world turning into? What are the people doing man?!

Anyway, my exec had to go for a compulsory seminar and therefore, she informed me of the things that she has left behind and informed me of what are to be done and stuffs. The stupid Myanmar lady was not happy though that things were passed on to me. Who is only a temporary and should know nothing much of things around the office. But oh well, I assisted the people who came to look for my exec and I manage to get her as those things realli need to be done. Basically, that Myanmar lady was unhappy the whole day cuz she was soooo "busy" that when she entried those datas, she has to type to loud and purposely release those keypads lazily that it gave out loud thuds. It was stupid la, I think.
Oh well, tell me which place you go work and everything goes on smoothly well? Don't have right?

Yesterday went out for break fast with a friend whom I've known online for quite long time. Finally get to be acquainted with him. A veri nice guy. Just like how I know him online. I finalli rode in a Mazda car. Mazda 3 to be exact. It was nice la. Seeing those planes taking off really makes me want to get on a plane and fly around the world. Oh boy! It was exciting.

I feel tired though. Tomorrow heading to Tuas office. Kinda bored le. Don't feel like going back there to cover the front desk le. I've work to do & I'm gonna miss the companies in JI. Most of my companies in Tuas alreadi gone to JI's site le.

Sigh. What to wear tomorrow?

SaRiNAh LUVs YOU moRe tHaN You LUv SaRiNAh

Something About Muhd Sufyan